Turning the Page

When you are reading a book that is really horrific, you can always put it down. Of course, this book in Matti's life has become required reading. So, we are just grateful that she can turn that page and see what is next.

She has hope. We have hope. There is definitely cause for optimism.

As for myself, particularly given the last 3 years we've had and the fact that I am an accountant, I can only allow myself to be cautiously optimistic.

How to note this special occasion for our family? Well, the night before, we had a family night in. Matti had been asking for salmon and mashed potatoes, so that was the meal and we just enjoyed time at home - no practices, no rehearsals, no scouts.

The next day, during Matti's last class of the day, which is Academy Singers, Nicki had a surprise party planned for her. Nicki had spent the previous several late nights putting together a slide show to give Matti's friends a glimpse of her journey so far.

Most of them were aware that it was to be her last chemo that day. But, they didn't know the last 20 minutes were set aside for this, thanks to the totally awesome Mrs. Franke.

This first picture is just to show the desktop of the computer being projected onto the screen, which got quite a reaction from the kids.

I seem to have this talent for catching people when their eyes are closed. I guess I am not destined for photography.

Nicki sets up the plan for the rest of the class and introduces the slideshow.

I'm not going to lie, there was not a shortage of wiping away tears.

I just like this because it shows how Nicki can command a classroom of teenagers. Me? I would just yell and throw things. 

The applause. Plus, I like how Matti is sneaking a glance at the camera.

 Then it was time to get Matti injected with toxins.

Everyone was so nice and Matti had to decide who she was going to give her last Winnie the Pooh to.

All the vitals and stuff.

We were brought back to her room and had the usual discussions about how Matti was doing and where we were at on her meds and everything else. Then Matti asked what kid they would think would be good for her to give her last stuffed animal.

They thought they had the perfect one in mind and they went to talk to him and his dad to make sure it would be okay.


They came back with the young man and his dad. He was supposed to have had some procedure, but an infection was going to postpone that and he was a little down about that and waiting for his room to be ready at Sunrise before they went across the street. But this boy had a great personality and attitude and presence.

He came in and talked to Matti and she gave him the Pooh Bear. After a few minutes, he paused and took off his hat and pulled out a card and gave it to Matti. "Here, you can have this."

I had noticed his hat, because there was some kind of autograph on the bill, it appeared, with the word "HULK" next to it. The card was to identify more clearly the autograph that was on the hat with a signature, or handwritten confirmation of the person - Mark Ruffalo.

Matti asked if he was sure he wanted her to have it and he insisted and then asked his dad if he could keep the Bear in his bed at the hospital tonight.

This sentence is a placeholder for me to link you to his FB page.

And for those of you wanting to see the slideshow Nicki put together, here it is:

Nicki and Matti left the appointment and went to St. George because last Christmas, grandparents bought tickets to see David Archuleta in concert this past weekend.

Matti really wanted to try to make it. She rested as good as she could Friday night and all day Saturday, but she was sick. Sick. Sick. She tried to get up and get ready and her body was having none of it.

So, they found a home for the four tickets and hour before the show. Nicki and Matti came home late Sunday evening.

But, Matti missed school Monday and Tuesday. She was so sick these last several days. She made it to school today, though. And we are hoping that after this weekend the sickness (nausea) will begin to wane.

She goes in tomorrow morning to have her blood drawn for cell counts.

Now, even though I want to add a couple of links and stuff, I am going to publish this because I want to give everyone an update.

The Final Countdown

That's right, just one day more.

The final chemo visit is tomorrow.

And no, then the fight isn't over and our worry gone. But, it will be the end of this chapter.

The next chapter is recovering from the injection of toxic chemicals over the past 6 months.

Another chapter is just about having scans (MRIs, CTs, etc.) every 3 months for the next 2 years. Every 6 months for 3 years after that. Then, annually for the rest of her life. Tests that we will no longer take for granted. So...there's that, too.

Make no mistake, we are very aware of the blessings that have gotten us to this point. Her road could have just as likely led down a different path than it has so far. Our expectation is that she has a LOT of life and living to look forward to. And I'm not sure how I can express that gratitude.

Physically speaking, she is pretty much always sick. She is definitely weak. (Although you would not always know it watching her.) Her body now has to rebuild and strengthen. Detox. Not to mention the narcotics she has been taking for months.

That is going to be a long road. And while we recognize that reality, we try really hard to not focus on it. Looking out at what lies ahead can be very overwhelming.

But, no more chemo is a huge thing. And we are going to celebrate tonight as a family. There will be revels.

Matti is coming down with a little bit of a cold, but as long as her blood counts are good, they should still be able to do the chemo tomorrow afternoon. We have tried so hard to make sure she didn't get sick these past few months and now the 20+ degree drop in one day was too much. **sigh**

During last week's penultimate visit, there was a little girl waiting with her brother who was playing "let's make faces" with Joy. It was very cute.

Then it was time for her brother to get called back...and he was not going to go. So, Matti made a present of the stuffed Tigger she had brought and he immediately settled down and went back with his Mom.

Magic. Pure magic.