No Time for Resting

Not when you are 17 years old with a determination to kick cancer's butt.

See, she had her chemo last Thursday, early in the morning. (She did find a little girl to share another stuffed animal with.) The reason she had it early in the morning was because we reasoned that all she had going on with CCSD Honor Choir and school functions, this would provide her with some time to rest before doing all that.

Was there, perhaps, some flaw in that thinking?

Well, she still was in a lot of pain the next day, but she was determined to do the things she had going on the next day, even if she was completely doped up on narcotics. It's not like she would be the only kid in school that day high on drugs, right?

What did she have going on?

This week was kind of "College Week" for choir. On Wednesday, she had the opportunity, with the choir to work with a Dr. Shankman (no, not Venkman) from NYU.

I didn't put a picture with Peter...I mean Ira - because this is Matti's blog, not his.

For Friday, to start, she had the Choir Senior Showcase. It's a day when many schools that like to recruit from LVA come to see who is graduating this year and watch them perform a little. This year there were 14 schools. If they like what they hear and see, the kids are invited to "call backs" later in the day, where they meet one-on-one with the representative from that school. Yeah, it's an audition - for college acceptance and head starts on scholarships.

And Matti was called back for 5 of the colleges represented - by 2 she really wanted to be, in particular. Would you like to know why? Watch these: (I had to make two files for each performance due to Blogger's file size limits)

Yes, by the way, it made me very nervous watching the video with her standing right on the edge of that 4 inch step.

One of her call backs.

Whether or not you recognize it, she is clearly affected by the chemo and the rest of the drugs. But she was still able to bring an outstanding performance. If you enjoyed those performances, imagine if she was not weakened from months of chemotherapy and narcotics and other crap in her system.

One would think she would be done, but, no. It's Friday, for crying out loud. And she only has 2 chemo sessions left. And it's Halloween season.

So that means...Halloween Party! With the Academy Singers!!

Ever since we saw "Inside Out" this summer, she wanted to be Joy for Halloween. And, thankfully, she had a friend in the choir who wanted to be a fellow character - Disgust. Check out these precious gems:

She is so intent on being her character, even through all she is currently feeling. (And, perhaps, the narcotics help.) But let's face it, she pretty much exudes the character she dressed as.

She crashed all day Saturday and Sunday.

But alas, on Monday, school beckoned, as did Honor Choir that night. Earlier last week, she had auditioned for the opportunity to audition for a solo in the concert. (Read that again, yes it says what it says.) I wish I had video of that, but she did awesome, of course. She was one of the five selected to be able to audition for the guest director (Dr. Copley from NAU). So, last night, she auditioned for Dr. Copley. I have the video for that, but because Matti doesn't love it, I am not posting it here. She was satisfied with what she was able to give, but she didn't love it.

Just a still of the line-up as she is getting ready to sing.

However, I will tell you, having watched the video and being the tough critic for such things that many know me to be, she did a great job. And while I didn't see the other 4 girls, I understand Dr. Copley's position in selecting the person for the solo. I don't think we look at it as cancer taking away the solo from Matti, because even with all that, she was still one of the top five selected for the opportunity.

Also, she completed the 1st quarter with a decent GPA, to boot. Because...Matti.

Two more. As in one more than one. In other words - 2.

The Best Laid Plans...

So, I had hoped to have pictures, as I mentioned previously, of Matti with Donny Osmond at the Danny Gans Memorial Run shindig that was on Saturday that raises money for the Nevada Childhood Cancer Foundation.

We didn't make it to either the run or to a movie featuring the one and only Ken Craig (and some other people). Sometimes, I wonder if it is even worth trying plan on anything right now. I think our choices are: 1) don't plan on anything and don't do anything; 2) plan stuff, but with no real expectation of ever doing it, so that if it doesn't happen there is no disappointment; or 3) become a LOT better at spontaneity.

Matti was feeling very sick from her last chemo visit on Thursday. I know she always feels like it's her fault that we don't do stuff. No amount of telling her otherwise helps, sometimes. It's been about the worst, so far. It wasn't until Sunday evening that she was starting to really get past it. I am hoping she is doing okay at school today. She is likely going to be overdoing it because there is a choir concert this week.

But she did give away another stuffed animal on Thursday. When she was brought back to the "staging area" (I don't know what else to call the area where she gets vitals all taken before going back to the room), there was a little girl who was very worked up about the blood pressure cuff, thermometer, etc. So, Matti took the gift to her and explained what she was doing to the little girl's mom and, basically, went into Princess Mode.

As the girl pulled out her new Tigger, she calmed right down and made it through the rest of the prodding, etc. The mom threw her arms around Matti saying, "Thank you so much!"

Again, no pictures, sorry. But, Nicki did post a couple of Matti's antics once in her own room. Here's the collage:

It's a busy week, this week and next, with choir concerts. But only 3 more treatments to go. AND no more combination days - each one left is only one chemo drug per visit.

THAT'S something we can plan on!!

And Then There Were Four

Treatments left, that is.

We just want her life back. She wants her life back.

She wants to be able to drive herself to and from school. She probably wouldn't even mind doing the dishes - at least once or twice, anyway.

She wants to be able to go out and do stuff with friends and be a normal high school Senior with all the activities and fun that should be happening this year.

Yes, we realize that it will still be a few weeks after her last chemotherapy before she will start feeling better, really. But to know that there are no more ahead will be an awesome feeling. Matti has started to actually count down the days and treatments.

We made a chain for her for that purpose. Each sibling put various thoughts - or pictures, which is, I suppose a representation of a thought - on each link. Of course, some of those pictures are battle scenes: airplanes dropping bombs on cancer; football team (BYU) beating cancer's football team (U of U, obviously); a stick figure of Matti kicking another stick figure (cancer) in the butt.

Anyway, it was fun to do that for one family home evening.

Also, Nicki's mom got 5 stuffed animals in gift bags for Matti to bring to each of her last treatments and to give to another kid having treatment on that day. It is an idea that Matti really loved and enjoyed helping to brighten little Janelle's day last week. We didn't take pictures. We are kind of sorry about that. But, I am sure you can imagine what the exchange was like. If you need help, then review this post.

So, two ways that can be pretty special in counting down the end to her treatments. After that, she gets to join the Long-Term Follow Up clinic - LTFU, they call it. I remarked to Matti early on that it's a good thing they don't have a short-term follow up clinic. Or, perhaps too bad they don't.

Last week, she felt a little more sick than we have been accustomed for her vincristine treatment. Frankly, some of that is probably due to other things happening in the home which added unnecessarily to her stress level. I won't waste any more space here on it, but you can read my other blog.

Matti will be doing Thursdays for the next 3 weeks and then, one more Friday. We have everything scheduled so she can have the best chance of getting to her concerts at school, as well as being able to participate in Clark County Honor Choir.

The cool thing about her participating in honor choir is that the conductor is the Director of Choral Studies at NAU, so Matti gets the opportunity to work with her and be in front of her. It's an opportunity to hopefully boost her resume for when it comes time to apply for scholarships.

Of course, she still has to complete her classes. And that takes homework that she doesn't always have the energy to get to. And if she misses classes, then she has to make up work...again using energy she often does not have. School is worrisome enough when your daughter doesn't have cancer.

This Saturday, we are going to take Matti to the Danny Gans Run for Life. If we get a picture with Donny, I will be sure to post it. Nevada Childhood Cancer Foundation is another fantastic organization that, I believe, is worthy of your charitable donation budget. They have been fantastic in helping us this past month. We really would have loved to had the kids participate in their Camp Cartwheel this past summer. Maybe next summer.